We recently returned to the States to attend Robbie and Aubrey’s wedding at the Columbia River Temple (pic above, Sean, so it did happen). Getting to the Tri-Cities proved to be almost impossible from Montréal, so we drove to Boston and flew to Seattle with Ben and Carrie and their kids. From there we rented a mini-van and drove the three hours to Richland. As we drove we discussed what I was going to say in Robbie’s “toast” at the family dinner the night of the wedding. During that discussion Ben made a comment that stuck with me. He said that with all the good material I was getting during the drive, at the toast I was “really going to be able to develop Robbie’s character arc.”
A “character arc,” for those of you who hated English in high school (me) or who preferred Ballroom Dance to Humanities in college (I’m looking at you, Sean), is a literary device used to describe the transformative journey that a character experiences during the course of a story. The purpose of the character arc is to create characters that are interesting and/or relatable in a way that makes that character meaningful to us.
There are four generally-accepted character arcs: positive (or “moral ascending”), negative (or “moral descending”), transformational, or flat. For those of you who are Star Wars fans, think about (in that same order) Han Solo, Anakin Skywalker, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia. For those of you who are fans of the Twilight saga, think about . . . well, think about getting help, actually, because you clearly have much larger problems in life than trying to understand character arcs, or (for that matter) respectable literature or cinema in any form.
Ahem, moving right along now.
After we returned to the mission field and re-immersed ourselves in the work, I thought a lot about the people that we have developed meaningful relationships with and their character arcs. In late August, right as we celebrated our one-year mark in the mission, I was asked to give the “Joy and Success” spiritual thought for our weekly senior missionary couple district meeting. I was unsure about what to say because, as a result of the disturbing trend towards “negative” or “flat” character arcs in the people we worked with, I wasn’t really feeling much joy or success. I felt like some of our “chicks” were still pretty disoriented from their re-birthing process and had begun to halt or regress on the path, or even to leave the path altogether and seemingly run around in circles (as chicks are want to do). To be fair, some just kept their head down and continued to move forward, despite the mists, the distractions, and all the people in the great and spacious building. But at times I felt like Lehi, hanging out and eating fruit while watching my adopted children struggle; kind of like having a front row seat to a re-enactment of his vision.
As a senior missionary, you have the tremendous privilege of influencing the character arcs of the people you serve. Just as in any good monologue, you experience “the highs and lows of human emotion.” At the risk of dating myself, I am reminded of the opening lines of ABC’s Wide World of Sports–Sister Bates and I were experiencing simultaneously the thrill of victory AND the agony of defeat. I knew I was probably taking this too personally, but it was hard not to. I had to reconcile all of my feelings by reminding myself of a few things.
First, this is not our story–it is their story. Sister Bates and I are not the main characters–we are just supporting characters, and maybe only minor characters at that. We appear very briefly in the story, perhaps for just a chapter or two.
Second, we are not their savior–they already have one of those, one who I trust knows a lot more about their character arc than I ever will. He is the author and finisher of their story, not me. Our role–for the short time while we are here–is simply to love and serve them.
Third, they have their agency–even if they use it to seemingly run around at times like their heads have been cut off. We may not agree with the way in which they exercise it, but often the most important lessons in life are learned through choice and consequence. Just ask Paul, or perhaps Alma the Younger.
Finally, their story is not a short story. It is War and Peace, the Lord of the Rings, or maybe even The Wheel of Time. It will contain all the things we read about in 2 Nephi 2: joy and misery, righteousness and wickedness, good and bad. Their story began long before we arrived in the scene, and will continue long after we leave. I am still struggling to come to terms with all of this. At times I question whether I have the capacity to form, much less maintain, all of these spiritually and emotionally intense relationships, and then go and serve another mission and start the process all over again. But, in the end, this is all part of my character arc. And hopefully there are still a few good chapters left to be written.